


Skewered

by UppityBitch



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-04 09:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10988208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UppityBitch/pseuds/UppityBitch
Summary: Caroline is a frequent competitor on a reality cooking show and a clip of her enthusiastic fangirl moment goes viral, catching the attention of her mega-celebrity crush, Klaus. Imagine her surprise when she finds out the highest-paid actor in Hollywood is a secret fan of the cooking show...





	1. Appetizers

_“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”_  
― Erma Bombeck

 

 

 

 

 _Pork fat is the new black_. At least, that’s what Caroline Forbes tried to tell herself as she hastily attempted to wipe off the greasy splatters on her cheeks while standing on the raised platform in front of the panel of judges. She had been cooking in state and regional barbecue competitions for a while now, traveling throughout the Midwest and the South, and had become a familiar face on the reality television show _Grill Masters Throwdown_.

            Shot documentary-style, a camera crew would follow around various contestants, sometimes conducting interviews despite the fact that the contestants were in the middle of an intense competition and couldn’t really spare the time for a quick chat. Caroline would plaster on her best customer service smile and indulge them because she needed all the free advertising she could get for her business back home in Virginia.

            She had been especially on edge during this competition because it was a regional championship with a $20,000 grand prize. That kind of money would be a game-changer for her, and she could finally make plans to expand her business like she’d always dreamed of. This competition had been fairly standard, with the competitors being judged on pork ribs, brisket, chicken, and meat and vegetable skewers. The food submissions always were graded on appearance, taste and tenderness, and Caroline knew that a balance of flavors was key — if any one flavor dominated the meat, it was all over.

            Her signature flavors were heavily influenced by central Virginia-style barbecue with homemade sauces that were heavily sweet with a tart undertone. She let the cameras see her add typical spices like powdered gingerroot for bite and cayenne and smoked Hungarian paprika for a rich, earthy-spicy infusion, but she always sweetly told them to turn away when she brought out her secret weapon that had been a part of the Forbes family barbecue tradition since her great-grandparents: root beer. Spiking her sauces and marinades with root beer added an explosion of flavors that permeated the meat without extended marinating times, which was crucial in high-stakes cooking events like _Grill Masters Throwdown._

With narrowed eyes, she watched as Alaric Saltzman, one of the judges and a fixture in professional cooking circles, carefully examine her entry. It was stored in a simple plastic container with a number that had been assigned to assure contestant anonymity until the winners were announced. She smiled a secret smile when she noticed how her homemade dry rub had permeated the brisket and built up a beautiful, flavorful “bark” along the edges. She knew that Alaric would appreciate that detail as he boasted similar results at his wildly successful barbecue franchise, _Hungry Hunters._ A look of surprise flashed across his sun-weathered face as he realized the brisket slices were so tender he didn’t need a knife to cut into them. All that extra time she took to properly trim her brisket had been worth it. Caroline barely refrained from doing her wiggly little happy dance.

            Once the judges finished tallying all of the scores, it was time for Mason Lockwood to announce the winners. Caroline managed to refrain from rolling her eyes when he started speaking — he was a pretty boy-type who tried to sell a fake Southern boy charm to every attractive girl he came across. While he was lovely to look at, she was looking for substance behind the sex appeal. Besides, her fantasy life was booked — her celebrity crush had been renowned movie actor Klaus Mikaelson since she was in high school and that wasn’t about to change any time soon.

            As Mason quickly announced third place and the runner-up, her shoulders drooped a bit. She always managed to place in the top ten, but had never gotten higher than fifth place before. She wondered if Mason had unfairly influenced the judges against her. She recalled at several competitions how he had orchestrated a ‘chance’ meeting with her to gauge her interest in learning his ‘special barbecue tips’. She’d laughed in his face and told him that the day she needed a microwave bachelor from Pennsylvania dispensing his cooking wisdom was the day she started grilling tofu. She’d never learned how to control that famous Forbes temper of hers, and while she had zero interest in indulging in ‘special barbecue tips’ with Mason, she probably should have at least smiled at the beautiful bastard while rejecting him.  

            Her melancholic thoughts were interrupted when Mason loudly announced, “And the winner of the 10th Annual Tri-State Championship is Caroline Forbes of _Seriously Good BBQ_!” Blinking in shock, she was on autopilot as she walked to the judges’ panel and collected her comically oversized check and the show’s signature golden pig trophy. Mason winked at her as he pointed the microphone in her direction.

            Holding the shiny pig trophy over her head, she couldn’t help but do her wiggly little happy dance as she blissfully forgot the cameras were rolling. She squealed with excitement and shouted, “All that’s left now on my life goals list is a kiss from Klaus Mikaelson!” She blushed furiously the second she realized she said that out loud, but the crowd and the judges seemed to be laughing _with_ her rather than _at_ her, so she allowed herself to relax. It was a silly, meaningless moment that would be forgotten by the time she got back to Virginia.

            **_And then the clip went viral._**

            It was the most ridiculous thing that have ever happened in her life. She was a meme now, for fuck’s sake! It was like that Tom Cruise-couch-jumping fiasco, but her hair looked fantastic and America seemed to agree that her on-screen celebrity crush confession and wiggly little happy dance were cute, so she just rolled her eyes good-naturedly at the attention and laughed. It would blow over eventually; these things always did.

            On the plus side, her silly on-screen antics had been great for business. She sold her barbecue out of a tiny little shack with a walk-up window in a gas station parking lot in her small town of Mystic Falls, Virginia, and she couldn’t ever recall a time when the line of customers had weaved around the block like it did now on a regular basis. After collecting her prize money, she had started scouting storefronts, but nothing had caught her eye yet. With the sudden increase in sales, she had hired extra staff, elated that finally her plans were falling into place.

            Another unexpected result of her wayward reality TV show clip going viral had been the phone calls. A lot of them had been stupid prank calls, like the multiple times an accented voice had tried to contact her, claiming to be Klaus. It was complete nonsense and the caller was obviously Enzo St. John, a recent British transplant who was a fierce competitor and had struck up a rivalry with Caroline early on. Each time he called, she got more and more angry until she finally told Enzo that he was a no-good son of a bitch who couldn’t grill for shit and his pork butt always looked like Jack Nicholson’s shriveled balls.

            Some of her more positive calls had been requests for interviews from local and regional media outlets, which she gladly gave to help promote _Seriously Good BBQ._ Then, an even bigger opportunity came her way when Mason contacted her with the exciting news that _Grill Masters Throwdown_ had been watching her publicity with interest and wanted her to do a few appearances as a guest judge. She could hardly believe her good fortune and was really looking forward to it. She snorted derisively when she received an elaborate bouquet of sunflowers with a card from Mason that read, “Looking forward to sharing those special barbecue tips.” She resisted the urge to toss them out though — it wasn’t the sunflowers’ fault that shallow pretty-boy was _so_ not her type. So, she had set them out on the window ledge of the food stand to brighten her customers’ day.

            She handed out an order of country-style ribs with a tangy pineapple-cayenne glaze, relieved to see there was only one more customer left in line. When he approached the window, he took off his baseball cap and dark sunglasses, running his fingers through dirty blonde curls as his steel gray eyes regarded her with obvious interest.

            _Holy shit._


	2. Soup Course

_“The secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”_

— Mark Twain

 

 

            “Seriously? That cheesy disguise actually worked around here,” Caroline blurted out, still in shock that five-time Oscar-nominated Klaus Mikaelson was standing at her takeout window in a gas station parking lot in a tiny town in Virginia.  

            His searing gaze widened a bit at her reaction, but a sly smirk crept across his devastatingly handsome face. “I must admit, Caroline Forbes, I expected a bit more excitement from you. However, given your rather colorful diatribe on the phone when you thought I was that poor bloke, Enzo, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”  

            She squeezed her eyes shut, a red flush creeping up her neck. She had accidentally called Klaus Mikaelson...well, a number of things during their brief phone calls, but the Jack Nicholson’s shriveled balls comment kept ringing loudly in her ears. “So, um...I should apologize for that, but...I’m having a hard time working through the right words to use,” she stuttered, realizing that she had disappointed the long-forgotten teenage version of herself on a scale so epic, she would likely never recover.

            Klaus chuckled, his gray eyes twinkling as he said, “Truth be told, I’m somewhat curious about how you know the exact appearance of Jack’s balls? I’ve attended several social engagements with him, but he’s never seemed inclined to whip them out for perusal.”

            The way he flashed his dimples in that signature cheeky grin of his made her want to melt, but she squared her shoulders, doing her best to see this bizarre conversation through. “Yeah, sorry if Jack Nicholson’s a buddy of yours, but womanizing asshats who only date fetuses really piss me off.” She blew a frizzy blonde curl off of her sweaty forehead, knowing she reeked of barbecue smoke and fervently wished she’d taken the time to put on something other than her ‘I like pig butts and I cannot lie’ t-shirt. She studied him carefully, still trying to come to grips with the fact that her celebrity crush was mere inches away. “So, clearly you saw the clip from the show, huh? Sorry about all this — I swear I’m not a creepy stalker fan and I honestly had no idea people would actually care so much.”

            He shook his head, favoring her with an indulgent smile. “I should be the one apologizing, love. I’m under a bit of a microscope and unfortunately you got pulled in with me.” His gaze slid from hers slightly as he took in the obnoxiously large bouquet of sunflowers at the window. “You have an admirer,” he asked, his delicious accent revealing a slight nervousness that Caroline couldn’t believe she was hearing.

            She jerked her chin toward the sunflowers, rolling her eyes. “Definitely _not_. Mason Lockwood’s latest attempt at getting into my pants has even less flare than the time he offered me a jar of his overpriced dry rub because he said it was ‘salty-sweet goodness with a fire that snuck up on you — just like me.’” She finally noticed the way Klaus was standing, with his hands clasped behind his back in an oddly stiff pose. “What’s behind your back,” she asked curiously.

            Clearing his throat, he gave her a pained smile before bringing his hands forward to reveal a single, giant sunflower. “I saw it at the airport and it reminded me of you,” he admitted with a hopeful hitch to his voice that she instantly found endearing. “I also was hoping that perhaps I could take you out to dinner, love?”

            Caroline blinked, somewhat in shock as she accepted the sunflower from him, her mind going blank. Klaus Mikaelson, winner of numerous Golden Globes and BAFTA awards was asking her out to dinner. She told herself it was probably some dumb Hollywood publicity stunt, so there was no reason to get _too_ excited, but what the hell? It would be a hilarious, unbelievable story to tell her friends tomorrow. Shrugging, she said, “That sounds great. Perfect timing too — Kat made hummingbird cake for dessert and I’m starving.” She giggled at his questioning eyebrow, and quickly closed up her little shop and led him one block down the way toward the town’s diner, _The Sassy Skillet_.

            He self-consciously gripped his dark sunglasses and hat, clearly debating whether he should put them back on, and Caroline took pity upon his adorable ‘fish-out-of-water’ vibe. She said gently, “If you feel more comfortable, you can wear your disguise, but I promise Kat won’t let anyone get out of line. She’s good people.”

            Klaus seemed to relax somewhat at her reassuring words and lowered his sunglasses and hat. He asked curiously, “Have you known Kat long?”

            “We grew up together in Mystic Falls. Her name’s Katherine and she’s fiercely loyal and wicked smart.” she ducked her head, a small smile playing on her lips as she revealed, “When my mother passed away and the hospital sent me a bill with a whopping $5000 error on it and they refused to look into it, Kat stormed into the administrator’s office and told him that she’d start loudly talking in her diner about his frequent ‘afternoon delights’ with one of the nurses if he didn’t fix this mess.”

            Intrigued, Klaus questioned, “And how did she come by this information?”

            Caroline grinned as they crossed the brick-lined street. “It’s a small town. Kat’s daughter, Nadia, had broken her arm so she was visiting her at the hospital and when she was hunting for a cup of coffee, she happened to see a supply closet door cracked open just enough to see a tangle of limbs belonging to the administrator and someone who was definitely _not_ his wife. Kat just figured when dogs don’t get scolded, they’ll keep raiding the hen house.”

            His surprised laughter filled her with a sudden warmth that she felt herself wanting to hold onto. She gave him a brilliant smile as they walked inside the diner. Only a handful of tables were occupied, but they all glanced up at the sound of the jingling bell hanging from the top of the door. Several pairs of eyes widened and low murmurs rumbled as Caroline and Klaus headed toward an empty table near the back.

            An attractive woman with long chestnut curls pinned back loudly clapped her hands over the chatter and said, “Yeah, yeah. That’s Klaus Mikaelson. And he came in here to eat just like the rest of you, so mind your manners like your mamas taught you. And if I see a single phone come out, you’re out of here for good, got it?” The patrons’ heads immediately snapped back to their own tables and regular conversations started back up.

            “I take it that’s Kat,” Klaus murmured to Caroline as she handed him a small laminated menu.

            “Yeah,” she said fondly. “No one else can get a crowd’s attention quite like our Kat.”

            He considered her for a moment and said, “I disagree. You seem to capture everyone’s attention whenever you appear on _Grill Masters Throwdown_. You always capture mine,” he added, somewhat shyly.

            She was just getting ready to press him for details, because it sounded like he was a fan of the show which was a silly idea because he was Klaus Mikaelson and surely he had better things to do than couch surf and watch reality TV cooking competitions, but they were interrupted by Katherine coming to take their order.

            Katherine elbowed Caroline, eying Klaus with an impish grin as she teased Caroline, “So that stupid life goals list Mrs. Gilbert made us write our sophomore year is finally starting to pay off, huh? Get your smooch yet?”

            Caroline groaned, rubbing her forehead in irritation. “Kat, I swear, you say one more thing to embarrass me and I’ll tell everyone about what _really_ happened to the scoreboard on the football field our senior year.”

            Katherine glanced over her shoulder in a panic, but it appeared none of the patrons overheard Caroline, so she said in a deceptively saccharine tone to Klaus, “I’m Kat, Caroline’s sometime cellmate, often confessor, but _always_ protector.” Narrowing her brown eyes threateningly at the famous actor, she added, “So you screw up with my girl, I’ll bust that ass, Mikaelson.”

            While Caroline blushed to the roots of her blonde head and hissed out threats through gritted teeth, Klaus smiled amicably at her bold friend, and said in a reassuring tone, “I promise I have no hidden agenda other than wanting to get to know this intriguing woman.”

            “Fair enough. For now,” Katherine responded, and then seemed to realize Caroline was ready to melt into a puddle of flaming embarrassment, so she took their dinner orders without much more fanfare and then left them alone.

            “So...that happened,” Caroline muttered, toying with the plastic straw in her sweet tea.

            Klaus said amusedly, “I have so many questions now, but I’m unsure where to begin. Perhaps you’d care to tell me more about this infamous scoreboard incident and if it somehow relates to Kat’s mention of being your ‘sometime cellmate’?”

            Her blue eyes twinkled when she airily replied, “Nope, not talking about either of those things and whether they are related to a _borrowed_ tractor, a few wild turkeys and the VFW bowling trophy.”

            He unexpectedly reached across the peeling Formica table and gently squeezed her hand. “There’s always our second date, love.”

            She blinked at his words, trying to figure out if he was being serious. Was it all part of a publicity stunt? “So, earlier, you implied that you actually watch _Grill Masters Throwdown._ I just thought you knew about me from that stupid clip that went viral. Did you actually see the episode then?”

            Klaus seemed taken aback by her directness, and paused to take a sip of his water as though he was considering his words carefully. He finally answered, “Actually, I’ve probably seen most of the episodes. Cooking is a hobby of mine and I’m a bit of a fan of that show in particular. You started appearing off and on sometime last fall and I don’t think I’ve missed an episode since.” He ducked his curly head, almost shyly adding, “I admit I was hooked. You are beautiful, but it’s your fire that captivates me, sweetheart.”

            _Holy shit. Was this actually happening?_ “I uh, thank you,” she stammered, feeling her face heat up once more from the way he was staring at her hungrily.

            “That’s a lovely shade of crimson on your cheeks,” he commented, a teasing smile on his face. “But my favorite shade occurs when you’re furious. Like that episode when Mason Lockwood deliberately strolled by your booth while you were brining chicken thighs and he tried to tell you that molasses would work better than the citrus juices you were using in the brine bath.” He smiled fondly at the memory, adding, “The silly prat was clearly trying to flirt with you, but you ignored his fumbling attempts. You somehow managed to give him a lovely smile for the cameras with those fierce blue eyes spitting flames and as soon as he left, you hissed, ‘That boy is about as useless as tits on a bull,’ which may be my favorite phrase out of that delightful collection you seem to use.”

            Stunned, she bit her lip, trying to come up with something to say. Klaus remembered silly, inconsequential things she said ages ago. He must really be a fan of the show. And... _of hers?_ She could feel her heart beating faster at the thought. She fiddled with a loose strip of the Formica table as she remembered that episode. She had been mortified when she realized the cameras hadn’t moved on from her booth when she had let that Forbes temper get the best of her. Her eyes widened when she thought of something. “No, no, no! Tell me you _didn’t_ see the episode where the Salvatore brothers’ smoker malfunctioned,” she groaned, already noticing the mischievous twinkle in his gray eyes.  

            Klaus looked absolutely delighted when he nodded and said, “The black clouds of smoke filtered into your cooking area and obscured your vision, but when the smoke cleared, I still can’t figure out how you looked like you had taken a shower in barbecue sauce.”

            “Ugh! Those idiots had no business in a cooking competition — I’m almost positive that one brother’s gigantic, over-gelled head is a fire hazard waiting to happen. Just when I was reaching for something on an overhead shelf, the smoke came my way and I somehow managed to overturn a bucket of my sauce.” She rolled her eyes, adding, “Plus, I was wearing a white shirt, so it looked like I was in a wet t-shirt contest in hell.”

            He chuckled, his gray eyes dancing as he said in an admiring tone, “You made quite the picture, sweetheart. And through it all, what I remember the most is how once you calmed down, an enormous smile crept across your lovely face and you started laughing with such joy that it captivated everyone around you. You seemed to be filled with light,” he concluded in almost a whisper.

            Caroline could feel her cheeks heating, and was fairly certain her entire head was as red as a tomato. This was too surreal — her celebrity crush telling her these things was a lot to take in. She tucked a stray blonde curl behind her ear. “I um, I’ve seen your movies, but I guess everyone has, huh?” She saw him start to speak, but she rushed on, aware that she was gushing but couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I mean, obviously that Greek mythology blockbuster was amazing and _Lydia_ , that movie where you wake up in a New Orleans jail, is some of your best work. Your Oscar nomination for _Lydia_ is well-deserved.”

            “That’s very kind of you to say, love. I’ve been very fortunate in this industry with some of the opportunities that have come my way,” he said in a humble tone. He unexpectedly snorted, adding, “Of course, I don’t _always_ have perfect judgement when it comes to choosing scripts.”

            She wrinkled her nose adorably, nodding. “Yeah, that sci-fi movie that inexplicably seemed to just be about dreadlocks comes to mind.” Her blue eyes sparkled with mischief as she giggled, “Actually, it would have been more interesting if it _had_ been about a planet of dreadlocks trying to take over our world.”

            His eyes widened and he said in a surprised tone, “Good heavens, you actually watched _War Ground Earth_? I couldn’t even get my family to watch that CGI-overstuffed, mess of a movie,” he confessed, laughing softly.

            “It’s a guilty pleasure,” she protested, her blue eyes alight with her teasing. “Sometimes it’s fun to add my own story when I’m watching the scenes. One time, Kat was watching it with me and we pretended that your wig was actually an alien spy hidden in plain sight throughout the movie, which explains why the alien species seemed to easily anticipate where the human resistance fighters would be.”

            The flabbergasted look on his handsome face with hilarious and he dryly asked, “Please tell me you named my wig. This story is going to be a monumental letdown if you didn’t name my wig.”

            Caroline burst out laughing, her fingers flying to her lips as she blurted out, “Larry. We called it _Larry_.”

            Klaus joined her laughter, and they companionably clicked their mismatched glasses together. Their moment was interrupted by the arrival of heaping platefuls of sliced brisket, spicy pulled pork, smoked sausage, baked macaroni and cheese, and fried green beans. As Klaus chewed thoughtfully, his eyes lit up and he commented, “This is bloody brilliant! The peach-chipotle glaze reminds me of the episode where you placed seventh with those delectable-looking ribs with a homemade rub of ground sriracha and peach jam.”

            She was startled as she realized the true meaning behind his words. “You remembered that,” she asked in a surprised tone. “You really are a fan of the show.”

            “I’m a fan of you,” he said quietly, glancing at her from underneath his thick lashes.

            She didn’t know what to say. Heart pounding, she opened her mouth, deciding to find out how long he would be in town and to see if he wanted to go out again. Maybe it was foolish, but she could feel the first sparks of hope stirring within.

            Klaus chuckled, shaking his curly head as he continued, “You know, I kept thinking of how I could orchestrate a visit to the show, just to meet you. I drove my manager absolutely mad when I suggested I could be a surprise guest judge.”

            Her blue eyed widened as her fork stilled in mid-air. “Seriously?! That would be amazing and I’m sure the show would be thrilled to have you on there. Why didn’t you insist on it with your manager? You’re a fan of the show and you said you like cooking, so I bet you’d have fun.” She shyly glanced down at her plate, trying to figure out how to ask him out without actually sounding like she was asking him out. Maybe she could suggest he go to the upcoming competition she was planning to enter?

            He lightly scoffed, interrupting her hopeful thoughts. “That would be quite the circus — Klaus Mikaleson attends a cooking competition. My manager fortunately pointed out how detrimental it could be to my brand. The press would have a field day at my expense.”

            Caroline froze at his hurtful, condescending words. She felt a chill go through her body despite the way her temper started to flare. “Right. I forgot for a second who I was talking to,” she said coldly.

            Noting the abrupt change in her tone, Klaus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I just meant that appearing on a reality show is a bit beneath me, sweetheart,” he added hastily, before blanching as though suddenly realizing what he said.

            “Seriously? You must think the sun comes up just to hear you crow, Klaus Mikaelson!” Caroline stood up forcefully, her voice echoing loudly in the tiny diner, causing the other patrons to watch the scene unfold while throwing surly glares at Klaus. She continued her diatribe with, “You think you’re too good for a show that small business owners rely on to help promote their food and make a living? Fine then. I wouldn’t want my _low-class_ presence to bring down your _precious_ image.” She rifled through her patchwork denim purse and angrily threw down enough cash to cover both of their meals in case the smug British bastard decided to dine and ditch on Katherine.  

            “Caroline, wait,” Klaus said in a strangled voice, gray eyes panicked as he tried to grab her hand in his desperation.

            She yanked her hand away from him, her frosty blue gaze terrifying as she whirled around, her blonde curls swirling in a protective curtain around her. She stormed past an amused Katherine who had a calculating look on her beautiful face while carrying their enormous slices of hummingbird cake.

            Caroline didn’t bother looking back as she yelled, “And fuck you for ruining the _one_ enduring fantasy I’ve had since I was a teenager, you condescending asshat!”

            As she opened the glass door, she could hear the muffled sound of a surprised yelp followed by a British accent loudly exclaiming, “Bloody hell!”

            Caroline couldn’t hold back her sly grin. It seemed Katherine had shoved both slices of cake into Klaus Mikaelson’s smug face. _Pity_ , she thought. _Seemed like a waste of a perfectly good dessert._


	3. Entrees

_“People who love to eat are always the best people.”_

— Julia Child

 

 

            “Well, Jackass McSnooty’s apologies certainly have flair,” Katherine drawled, standing next to Caroline as they watched an enormous, pig-shaped smoker being unloaded next to the Seriously Good BBQ takeout window in the gas station parking lot. Caroline couldn’t take her eyes off of the vivid bubblegum pink color as the delivery men carefully maneuvered it into place. She already had tried to refuse delivery, knowing instantly who had sent her the elaborate gift. Unfortunately, the workers had told her that she would have to contact the product vendor to schedule a pickup as the shipping company was a separate contractor.

            Caroline sighed regretfully as she looked at the gleaming logo of the Silas Curing Company, a well-known maker of luxury competition-ready smokers. She practically purred as she told Katherine, “These babies are hand-crafted, and even include a rotisserie with two infrared burners, and four separate fuel possibilities that can sear at an unbelievable 1,000 degrees!”  

            Katherine snorted, “Keep it then. Call it the asshole tax.” She eyed her friend critically, adding dryly, “Also, the fact that you’re eye-fucking a pink metal pig makes me think your _brisket_ might be getting a little dry. Maybe it’s time you stopped _rubbing_ it on your own?”

            “Kat, I _will_ wash your mouth out with soap,” she threatened her friend, glaring at her while signing the delivery receipt. “This is getting out of hand,” she muttered, thinking of the past two weeks and the ongoing deliveries of apology gifts she’d received from Klaus. He’d sent her thoughtful, ridiculously expensive gifts that were a professional chef’s dream from the exclusive Lapis Lazuli Chef’s Boutique. It was with a twinge of regret that she had sent back the gorgeous Himalayan salt rock cooking plate, the stainless BBQ tool set, and the cast iron wood chip smoking box. She reasoned that since she still wanted to snatch him bald, it wouldn’t be right to keep his gifts.

            Katherine noticed Caroline’s unusual silence and said conversationally, “You know what burns my ass? I didn’t get to see Jackass McSnooty get pulled over by Deputy Donovan for speeding on Wickery Bridge. She kicked at a chunk of broken asphalt, adding wistfully, “Bet that was a sight.”   

            Caroline frowned, asking, “Actually, I heard Matty pulled him over at least _three_ times crossing the bridge. Did he get lost trying to hightail it out of Mystic Falls?”

            “Apparently, he kept trying to find your house to apologize in person and the helpful townsfolk kept _accidentally_ giving him the wrong directions.” With a twinkle in her brown eyes, Katherine explained, “It seems they _may_ have forgotten to tell him that Matty doesn’t like _any_ speeding over that bridge and will ticket you _every_ time.”

            Lost in a fit of hysterical giggles, Caroline doubled over, wishing she had seen it. “That’s what he gets for being too big for his britches,” she chuckled, flushing slightly when she remembered how he had looked at her with those heated glances. But then she remembered what a stuck-up asshat he had been, insulting the competitions she participated in and by extension the way she and so many people like her promoted their businesses. _No way can he buy her off_. She was raised better than that. 

            Katherine reminisced, “At least I got to see that smug, beautiful bone structure smeared in caramelized bananas, pineapple and roasted pecans. Damn shame you missed it.”

            “Waste of a perfectly good hummingbird cake if you ask me,” Caroline said with a grin.

            The next day found Caroline in a great mood, partly due to the local news reporting that her main rival in the Grill Masters Throwdown competition, Enzo, had been grilling in a county fair contest and managed to fall off the stage while apparently trying to mimic Caroline’s wiggly happy dance. Every embarrassing moment had been caught on camera, and Caroline couldn’t decide if her favorite part was the bushy blonde wig Enzo was wearing that made him look like a British Dolly Parton or when he called her the ‘barbecue khaleesi’.

            The other reason why she was feeling particularly optimistic was the fact that Mason was coming to town that day to discuss her upcoming appearance on Grill Masters Throwdown as a guest judge. It was going to be fantastic exposure for her barbecue business and she could hardly contain her excitement as she waited for him in The Sassy Skillet.

            His entrance was exactly what she expected: He strutted through the door and struck a pose as he waited for the diner’s patrons to notice him. He proudly announced, “That’s right, Mason Lockwood has arrived,” and stood there expectantly. While a few heads turned briefly at the familiar jingling noise of the bell at the entrance, they all swiveled back to their plates and conversations without giving him a second glance.

            The confused look on his boyishly handsome face was priceless, especially when Katherine wryly answered, “Yeah, well, Klaus Mikaelson was in here just the other day. Mystic Falls is practically Rodeo Drive these days.” She leaned down next to Caroline and said in a low voice, “Just say the word and I can make sure he gets an up-close _introduction_ to my hummingbird cake.”

            Caroline shooed Katherine away before she scared off Caroline’s big opportunity to promote her business, Seriously Good BBQ. Finally, Mason noticed Caroline and appeared to be adding peculiar little pelvic thrusts to his strut as he made his way over to her table. She resisted the urge to suggest that they likely made an ointment for whatever itchy STD he seemed to have.

            He threw her a megawatt smile that she tried valiantly to return while holding back a snort. “The lovely Caroline Forbes. It’s a pleasure to see you again,” he said in his faux Southern accent by way of Pennsylvania.

            “Likewise,” she said primly, handing him a menu and trying not to have flashbacks of the last time she brought someone here. _Klaus_. _When she brought Klaus here_. The way he had flashed his dimples while peering at her over the top of the laminated menu. His sexy smirk as he tried to pry details out of her about the infamous scoreboard incident. How he made her feel like she was special. Or could be special. _To him_... _Damn it_.

            She realized Mason had started speaking again, but as she tuned in she realized that fortunately he was far too obsessed by the sound of his own voice to notice she wasn’t paying attention. “So, I told my agent that Mason Lockwood doesn’t settle. Does. Not. Settle. Yes sir, only the best for Mason,” he finished, weirdly pointing both thumbs at his muscular chest.

            “It’s great to know what you want,” she ventured, carefully trying to steer the conversation toward the true purpose of their lunch meeting. “Speaking of which, the show’s producers contacted me about potential episode dates and suggested that you and I discuss the scheduling details.”

            Mason nodded, becoming slightly more serious as they went over multiple competition dates and coordinating with Caroline’s work schedule. After discussing travel arrangements and her responsibilities as a guest judge, he laced his fingers together, grinning cheekily as he studied her. “Right, well, after a few minor, ah _incidents_ a couple of seasons ago, the show’s lawyers restructured my contract and I can no longer carry on _friendships_ with others employed by the show.” He leaned closer, his faux accent slipping slightly as he propositioned her. “But you can’t deny our incredible chemistry and I think we could have something _real_ special, you know, _before_ you sign the show’s contracts. What do you say?”   

            “She says you should eat this cake before you’re wearing it,” Katherine interrupted with a vicious smile, setting down the plates with a resounding thud on the Formica table.    

            Caroline shared a fond look with her bold friend before returning her attention to Mason. “Yeah, you can keep shaking that tree ‘til the cows come home, but my answer’s always going to be ‘no’, Mason.”

            Mason shrugged and answered amicably, “Fair enough.” He watched Katherine walk away, and not bothering to take his eyes off of her well-toned butt, he whispered to Caroline, “Any chance you could give me your friend’s number then? I’d like to get to know her and her freaky cake fetish a little better.”

            Caroline had just finished adding the final cherry glaze on her jalapeno chicken tenders when Katherine rang her doorbell. The screen door squeaked in protest as she shoved her way into the house, huffing, “You gave that sleazy wannabe Southern boy my number?!”

            “No,” Caroline replied as she headed back into her kitchen to check on the honey mustard brisket sliders. “I gave him the number to The Sassy Skillet. If you decide to take it any further is up to you, Kat,” she called over her shoulder, throwing Katherine her favorite apron emblazoned with the phrase, “You look like I need a drink.”

            Katherine grumbled under her breath, “I agreed to drinks. That’s it.” She wrinkled her nose in confusion as she added, “He kept insisting we go somewhere that has cake, though. Seemed a bit fixated if you ask me.”

            Caroline held back a giggle, but wisely chose not to comment. Katherine had come over for the girls’ annual Oscar watch party. It was a tradition they’d indulged in ever since they were teenagers, but this year would be different for Caroline and while she acknowledged that fact, she still had no idea how to feel about it. She had allowed herself to believe Klaus was interested in her, had indulged in the foolish fantasy that they shared a connection.

            But then he revealed how he really felt about people like her who relied on the reality show to try to grow their small businesses. Clearly his interest in her was a publicity stunt, something his manager had likely put him up to and when that failed, he tried to buy her silence with elaborate gifts. She wasn’t mourning the loss of a potential relationship. She was furious at his presumption that she was for sale. _Sure. Keep telling yourself that_.

            “I should probably get this awkward bullshit out of the way so we can start enjoying ourselves,” Katherine announced, slamming down a small brown envelope on the butcher-block countertop. “This was messengered over to the diner today. It’s for you.”

            Caroline handed her a beer and eyed the torn end suspiciously. “You opened it already?! Also, why was it sent to The Sassy Skillet if it’s for me?”

            “It’s from Jackass McSnooty. Of course I opened it. Also, everyone in town refused to give him your correct address, so he must have decided it would get to you eventually if he sent it to me,” Katherine explained, taking a long drink.

            Heart pounding, Caroline reached inside the envelope and pulled out two sheets of paper. The first sheet appeared to be a confirmation printout for a plane ticket to Los Angeles. The second piece of paper was a hastily scribbled note that read:

            _“Dear Caroline, based on your refusal to answer my calls or accept my gifts and the residents of Mystic Falls stubbornly refusing to give me your home address, I thought I would try apologizing to you this way. What I said to you that day in the diner was inexcusable and I sincerely apologize for my offensive words. It was elitism at its worst — it was me at my worst — and I wish you would let me show you me at my best. I don’t think less of you or anyone who chooses to appear on that show. In fact, I admire people who put everything they have into their passion like you have done with your business. I know you doubt my intentions, but I swear from the moment I saw you on that show, I was captivated. Getting to meet you was amazing and we connected in a way that I didn’t think was possible. I would regret it forever if I didn’t try to fix this between us. When (if?) you’re ready, I’ve pre-booked a flight for you to come for a visit. Maybe if we could spend some time together, I could show you who I really am. I’ve included my assistant, Rebekah’s contact information for you. Just get in touch with her and she’ll take care of the details. (As an added bonus, she’s my baby sister, and I’m sure she’d be delighted to regale you with embarrassing tales of my awkward youth.) I hope you’ll consider my offer. Yours, Klaus.”_

Katherine bumped into her while carrying a tray of their snacks, interrupting her racing thoughts. “You can actually _hear_ Jackass McSnooty’s _Masterpiece Theater_ accent in the letter, right?”

            Caroline sighed, taking the envelope and both of their beers into the living room as she flopped down onto her couch next to Katherine. “This is just part of his act, right? Or he just feels guilty and it galls him that I won’t talk to him,” she half-asked, hating how her voice sounded so uncertain.

            Her friend piled her plate with a few juicy brisket sliders, licking off the honey mustard sauce as it splashed across her thumb. “Hey, I’m first in line to call out Jackass McSnooty on his bullshit, but even I have to admit he’s putting in a lot of effort here. It might be time to start considering the possibility that he’s got an even bigger crush on you than you have on him.”

            Caroline rolled her eyes, her cheeks flushing at Katherine’s words. “Which is ridiculous when you think about it. How would something like that even work? I can’t imagine how someone like me would go about dating someone like him.”

            “The same way the rest of us date, although in your case, the dates would probably include some plane rides and maybe sushi or whatever it is fancy folk eat on dates,” her friend teased, elbowing her until she laughed along with her. After their giggles died down, Katherine’s voice became unusually serious as she told her, “Just think about it, okay? Don’t let something good get away just because you’re scared it might not work out.”

            Caroline nodded, touched by Katherine’s concern. “Okay. I will.” Noticing that the opening monologue had started, she turned up the sound on the TV and declared, “But not right now. Did you bring your rules?” She glanced over to see Katherine holding up a stack of neon post-its with her familiar curly-cue writing.

            Another tradition during their Oscar watch parties was that they played a drinking game during the event. Their rules might vary depending on the year, but some rules were fairly standard: (1) Drink every time a documentary wins and the creators are preaching the importance of giving back to the third-world country featured, and yet their clothes and jewelry could probably feed an entire village for months. (2) Drink every time Hollywood hypocritically brags about how socially progressive they are and yet continues to whitewash in addition to celebrating actors, producers and directors who are known abusers and predators. (3) Drink every time someone claps with seal hands because they’re wearing gaudy jewelry that makes natural human movement impossible.

            The women started watching the broadcast, having a wonderful time as they drank whenever their rules applied and heckled the host for lame jokes. Soon, however, Caroline grew quiet as they announced the nominees for best actor. Her breath caught as the camera swooped in for a close-up of Klaus. He looked especially handsome in his tuxedo, his dirty blonde curls tousled carelessly as he flashed his dimpled grin.

            She could feel her palms begin to sweat as the presenter said, “And the Academy Award for best actor goes to...Klaus Mikaelson!” The thundering applause from the TV was nothing compared to the delighted squeals from the two women as they watched the famous actor make his way onstage. Once the noises had died down, he cleared his throat, looking unusually nervous as he began to speak. “There’s a lot of people that I should be thanking right now. However, instead I want to take this opportunity just in case someone very important to me may be watching.” His stared directly into the camera, his steel gray eyes blazing as he declared, “All that’s left now on my life goals list is a kiss from Caroline Forbes.”

            Caroline’s mind went blank and she missed the crowd’s chaotic reaction as she fumbled for the torn envelope on her coffee table and pulled out her phone.

            Watching her with glee, Katherine asked knowingly, “What are you doing?”

            “I just decided it’s time to go collect my kiss,” Caroline replied, somewhat sheepishly.  

            “Well, if you must. But you’re packing one of my hummingbird cakes in case he gets out of line,” Katherine told her with a saucy wink.   


	4. Desserts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! So very happy you’re still following my work! We’ve reached the final chapter in this story and hopefully I’ve exceeded your expectations.
> 
> Also, I have exciting news — my original work has been published through Amazon Digital Services LLC! It’s a contemporary rom-com and a fun summer read; if you enjoyed Skewered, you’ll like this one! See my notes at the end of this chapter for a brief synopsis. Feel free to contact me with questions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times ahead!

_“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”_

— Virginia Woolf

 

 

 

 

_Snails are for bait. Not facials._ Caroline grimaced in disgust as she listened disbelievingly to the two women in front of her extol the virtues of African snail facials. She had arrived at the Van Nuys Airport and was following the crowd to find baggage claim when she first overheard one of the women say, “It’s _the_ beauty treatment at _Surface_. Enrico is a _total_ genius at the spa and while the snails crawl on you, your skin absorbs their mucus that’s full of all these proteins and elastins.”

            Caroline raised a questioning eyebrow as she stepped on the escalator behind the women, leaning in a bit to make sure she didn’t miss any of this so she could regale Katherine later about the supposed beauty benefits of snail juice on your pores. She rolled her eyes as she wryly thought that the next time she saw Jeremy Gilbert trying to catch catfish with his signature snail bait, she should tell him he should take his bait bucket down to his sister Elena’s beauty shop and see if any of her customers want a gooey snail facial. She had to bite her lip to keep from giggling as she pictured the baffled look on Jeremy’s face.

            The other woman sighed as she patted her angular jawline with disdain. “Elastins. Antioxidants.” She gave a hopeless moan of despair, “I need _something_ to rejuvenate this tired old skin.”

            Caroline shook her head in disbelief. Both women appeared to be in their late twenties, for pity’s sake! She wondered if people in Los Angeles aged more like dogs — that would explain _a lot_. She saw a sign with an arrow pointing down a corridor toward baggage claim, so she headed that way, trying not to focus on the fact that she was a bundle of nervous energy. _She was in Los Angeles. Klaus Mikaleson had flown her to Los Angeles to see him_. Actually, it was his sister, Rebekah, whom she had spoken to and had arranged all of the details. In fact, his sister had been positively gleeful when she answered her phone, swearing Caroline to secrecy because she wanted to surprise her brother.

            Caroline was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that famous, Oscar-winning actor Klaus Mikaleson was interested in her. In fact, only yesterday she watched him win his first Oscar. _And then say her name during his acceptance speech._ It was surreal that he had used a moment actors likely dream of all their lives to declare, ‘All that’s left now on my life goals list is a kiss from Caroline Forbes.’ Her life had been completely turned upside down in those outrageous seconds and she still hadn’t recovered from the shock.

            She snorted at that thought. If she was being honest with herself, her life had been turned upside down from the moment Klaus stood in front of her takeout window at Seriously Good BBQ. She shook her head, a small smile gracing her lips as she stopped in front of the correct baggage carousel. She had been dumbfounded when he unexpectedly came into her life, doing her best not to read into his appearance, but over the course of their impromptu dinner date, she had been charmed by the flirty, famous actor...and then he’d managed to inadvertently insult her for wanting to promote her small business on a reality cooking show. After that feisty Forbes’ temper flared up, she had stormed out of Katherine’s diner, intent on never speaking to him again.

            And that’s when the gifts started showing up. She rolled her eyes as she recalled that for the next two weeks after their disastrous date, Klaus had gone out of his way to send her practically every fancy kitchen gadget in creation. With a twinge of regret, she had sent almost all of the gifts back, furious at the implication that he assumed she could be bought. But then, the Oscars ceremony last night _changed everything_. _Klaus had changed everything_. And while she didn’t know what the future held, she did know that Katherine was right — she shouldn’t let something good get away just because she was afraid it might not work out.

            Speaking of things working out, Caroline had stopped by The Sassy Skillet diner early this morning on her way to the airport, and managed to get an eyeful:

            _Today was Katherine’s morning to do inventory, so the diner was closed, but Caroline had a spare key in case she ran out of seasonings at her barbecue shack when the diner was closed. She had smiled at the familiar jingling of the bell over the glass door as she pushed it open. The fragrant smells of last night’s dinner special, fried chipotle catfish and cheddar cornbread, clung to the air, making her mouth water. As she headed toward the swinging kitchen doors, a pair of giggles followed by a muffled curse had stopped her from going any further. “Hello,” she had tentatively called out, crossing her fingers that Katherine’s wild shenanigans would be mostly clothed — this time._

_Katherine and Mason had slowly risen up from behind the counter, wearing absolutely nothing but smug smiles and hints of hummingbird cake frosting in awkward places. Blushing, Caroline had asked sarcastically, “So this is what you look like when you’re doing inventory all morning, Kat?”_

_Mason grinned, giving her a cheeky wave as he cockily answered, “I’m inventory.”_

_Rolling her eyes, she muttered, “Waste of a perfectly good hummingbird cake if you ask me.” She couldn’t help but notice that Mason’s fake southern accent had disappeared — Katherine had apparently screwed it right out of him._

_Katherine’s eyes had twinkled mischievously as she winked at Caroline, telling her, “You should try it some time.”_

            The grinding of gears as the baggage carousel began rotating luggage jarred her from her thoughts. While she was pleased that Katherine had taken her own advice and was enjoying herself with Mason, she planned on steering clear of the diner’s countertop from now on. She was suddenly elbowed out of the way by two rude men who seemed to be simultaneously carrying on conversations through their headsets and with each other.

            “Dude, Austin, I know, but _for real_ , chicks are all like _woke_ or whatever these days man, so you gotta bring your _A game_ to casting,” one said loudly to his companion, nodding his head for emphasis as he grabbed two black leather cases from the conveyor belt.

            Austin clapped him on the back, chuckling good naturedly as he answered, “Flip the script on ‘em, huh, Chad? It’s like I was telling the casting director; with this character, we need a southern belle type...” he paused briefly, jerking his artfully mussed, caramel-highlighted hairstyle in Caroline’s direction as he loudly whispered, “Like _that_ piece, but a little _fresher_ , know what I mean? Like 18 to 23 to play the mom. Yeah, she’s supposed to be like middle-aged or whatever, but _fuck_ , she don’t gotta be all _grandma-lookin’_ , right?”

            “Totally! That’s like believable casting, bro — nailed it,” Chad fist-bumped him as they rudely pushed past a few more people in their attempt to leave.

            Narrowing her blue eyes, Caroline grabbed her own worn luggage, reminding herself that to falsely accuse people of drug possession in an airport was probably illegal. _Even if their names were Austin and Chad and she was madder than a wet hen_. Shaking her head in aggravation, she headed out the sliding doors, searching for her phone so she could let Rebekah know she had landed. She was startled to see a chauffeur standing outside of a gleaming white limo, holding a sign that said, “Caroline Forbes”.

            She blinked, trying wrap her mind around the surreal image when a laughing blonde jumped out of the limo to warmly greet her with an enthusiastic hug. “Caroline! I’d have recognized you anywhere! I’m Rebekah, Klaus’ babysitter-slash-assistant-slash-baby sister.”

            Caroline smiled brightly, her earlier aggravations melting away. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rebekah. I can’t tell you how excited I am to be here!”

            The obnoxious noise of a throat being cleared interrupted the women. They turned around to see Austin and Chad standing there, frantically checking something on their phones while squinting at both of the women as though trying to place them. Austin finally said awkwardly to Caroline, “So...uh, not sure how much you might have overheard back there, but like...I’ve got this script, ok? And like you could uh, be so _totally_ perfect for the mom role. _For real_ though.”

            Chad nodded excitedly as he clicked away on his phone. From the noises, Caroline was fairly confident he had found either her viral clip from the contest or the silly memes that followed. He gave her his best grin that was clearly meant to disarm but came across as used-car-salesman-meets frat-boy-trying-to-talk-his-way-out-of-a-DUI. “Whatcha say? Let’s do this thing, yo!”

            Rebekah raised a critical eyebrow, wordlessly looking to Caroline for an explanation. Caroline shrugged and answered with a wide smile, “Bless your hearts, As _flattered_ as I am, it sounds like your criteria was for a _fresh_ , 18-23-year-old. And since I fall outside of that bizarre choice of age range for a middle-aged woman, I’m far too _grandma-lookin’_ to play the part.” Not bothering to wait for a response, she followed Rebekah into the back of the limo, giggling as she settled into the soft leather bench seat.

            Handing her a crystal flute of fizzy champagne, Rebekah dryly asked, “Do I want to know what that was all about?”

            Clinking her rim with her companion’s, Caroline groaned good-naturedly. “Not unless you want to immediately be reduced to all of your teenage girl insecurities.” Taking a small sip, she added, “And that was even _before_ I heard some of your neighbors bragging about facials using ingredients I’ve never seen outside of a bait shop.”

            Rebekah laughed, “This place is full of unhinged treatments and cosmetic surgery for the sake of beauty. There’s people around here that border on the fanatical when it comes to juice cleanses.” She rolled her eyes, adding, “Bloody hell, don’t get me started on lip fillers — you will _never_ convince me that trout pouts are sexy!”

            Caroline shook her head, looking out the darkly tinted window at the red mountains as the limo smoothly followed the winding road. “Still, the place you get to live in is beautiful.”

            Rebekah sighed, “I suppose. I still long for Beverley where Nik and I grew up.” At Caroline’s curious expression, she explained, “It’s this charming market town in Yorkshire with cobbled streets...” she trailed off, her voice fond as she obviously was lost in memories. Her eyes were alight with mischief as she added, “You mentioned on the phone that Nik’s letter promised I would entertain you with all of Nik’s most embarrassing stories.”

            Caroline nodded excitedly, taking another sip of her champagne.

            Topping off both of their crystal flutes, Rebekah divulged, “A few years ago, several of us had returned to the village for a weekend pub crawl and decided it would be a lark to go on horseback. Nik was absolutely plastered, and by the time we were on our way home, he was very much the worse for wear and fell off of his horse. He made several attempts to climb back on, but for some mad reason, each attempt was from the horse’s arse!” Wrinkling her nose, she concluded, “When he finally righted himself, we spied a wide streak of manure down his shirtfront. To this day, we still call him ‘Alfie Arsefire’!”  

            The two women dissolved into giggles, the images Rebekah invoked keeping them amused as they traveled down the busy expressway. When Rebekah’s phone beeped, she checked the message and noted, “Good news — the surprise you suggested for Nik just arrived. And he’s been texting me like a petulant child all morning about the interview I insisted he give on location downtown, so you should have plenty of time to get everything put together.”

            Caroline rubbed her hands together gleefully, her heart speeding up slightly as she thought of what she had in store for Klaus later that day. “I can’t thank you enough, Rebekah. I really wanted to surprise him and do something special. I figure if he’s anything like me, he’s the first hog to the trough — especially after an aggravating day.”

            “Trust me, Caroline, _you_ would have been all the surprise Nik wanted. The rest is just a delicious bonus,” Rebekah reassured her as they finally pulled into a gated driveway. Caroline wasn’t sure what she suspected when thought about Klaus’ house — the stereotypical ultra-modern bachelor pad high-rise or a cookie-cutter McMansion overlooking a cliff, perhaps, but she definitely hadn’t been expecting this. A sturdy-looking gray rock home was nestled in a stand of hearty redwoods. She was instantly charmed by the home, and briefly thought that it wouldn’t look out of place back home. Many of the things she had seen in Los Angeles had been slightly intimidating — from elaborately designed buildings to the overflowing freeways. but there was a peaceful, simplistic feeling that Klaus’ house evoked, and she suddenly felt like she could breathe again.

            The driver brought in her bags while Rebekah gave her a quick tour, kindly making sure she had everything she needed and that all of the elements of her surprise had arrived. Wishing her good luck, she left Caroline, promising to text when she knew Klaus was on his way home.

            Caroline returned to the kitchen, gazing covetously at the handcrafted concrete countertops and gleaming stainless appliances. She gathered the ingredients that Rebekah had delivered and she went to work preparing one of her signature dishes, honey-jalapeno pulled pork. She was pleased to see that Klaus owned the exclusive Travelers’ brand dual pressure cooker and skillet. She practically purred as she caressed the shiny surface, pleased that it would reduce her cooking time by a third so that the meat would be the perfect level of tenderness when Klaus arrived later that day.

            Once she had the seasoned pork roast in the pressure cooker, she started boiling chunks of sweet potatoes to puree into her homemade buttered biscuit dough. While waiting on the root vegetables to finish cooking, Caroline took the opportunity to wander back into the living room, reveling in the bright sunlight that poured in from the tall windows. She spied a partially covered dining table and set to work carefully stacking papers to the side to clear a space for their dinner. Her name hastily scrawled at the top of a list in Klaus’ handwriting caught her eye and her curiosity got the best of her. She couldn’t help the wry smile that graced her pink lips as she read,

_“Ideas to convince Caroline to talk to me. (1) Send her the salt rock cooking plate she mentioned during the episode when she placed tenth. (2) Send her the BBQ tool set and wood chips smoking box like the ones the Salvatores used during the episode where she complimented the craftsmanship. (3) Have a custom smoker built for her. (4) Grand gesture? Possibly more groveling?”_

            She was startled to read that he had gone back to study reruns of _Grill Masters Throwdown_ to come up with ideas for the thoughtful gifts he had sent her. She noticed how he had crossed out the first two ideas after she had sent them back and giggled when she saw how he had circled his third idea with exclamation points after she had accepted delivery of the incredible custom smoker he had shipped to her. She was charmed to have learned that in addition to sharing an interest in cooking, Klaus also appeared to have a neurotic side and was an unapologetic list maker like she was. Not to mention the fact that she had inadvertently uncovered additional evidence of Klaus’ interest in her. _She was starting to think they wouldn’t make it to dinner_.   

            With that racy thought causing her cheeks to burn, she went back to the kitchen to steam the carrots and prepare the caramelized pecan glaze. While that dish was baking in a small casserole dish, she checked on the biscuit dough to make sure it was rising. She worked efficiently in his kitchen, positively giddy at the extra counter space she wished she had in her own home. The fragrant aromas of butter and spices surrounded her, and she couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he came home to find her there.

           

* * *

           Hours later, Caroline had just finished setting the baked white cheddar macaroni and cheese on a trivet in the middle of the table when she heard the front door open. Rebekah had texted earlier to warn her that Klaus was heading home, giving her plenty of time to finish setting out everything.

            She felt a nervous energy bubbling inside as she heard his familiar accented voice say in irritation, “Honestly Rebekah, I still don’t understand why you insisted upon the interview being downtown today. Traffic was an absolute nightmare and you know I wanted to get an early flight out to Virginia to surprise Caroline.” His voice took on a hesitant tone as he asked, “Do you think she’ll speak to me if I just show up there again?” His steel gray eyes flicked toward the living room where he finally noticed Caroline standing there. His handsome jaw dropped as he slowly hung up his phone without bothering to say goodbye to Rebekah, who was no doubt laughing hysterically at her poor brother’s expense.

_Klaus had been planning to fly back to Virginia to see her._ Heart thudding as she processed this new information, Caroline shyly waved at him from across the living room. “Um, so surprise,” she said, blushing as she caught that telltale gleam in his eye as he slowly registered her presence in his home. She fidgeted under the heavy weight of his stare, nervously smoothing down the pleats in her navy sundress.

            He cleared his throat as he said hoarsely, “I’m assuming you and my dear sister conspired to keep me occupied today then?” He sniffed the air, taking in the delightful aromas of the feast she had laid out on his table. “I must admit that dealing with inept drivers and sitting on the congested freeway is a price I’d willingly pay if this is what always awaited me when I arrived home, love.”

            His signature dimpled smile sent her heart fluttering, along with his teasing words. She licked her bottom lip, irritated at herself for managing to forget the little speech she’d been working on all day the moment Klaus flashed those blasted dimples at her. “So, um...I watched the Oscars last night,” she blurted out, wincing. _Seriously? That’s the best she could do?_   

            Klaus’ gray eyes were alight with mischief as he quickly crossed his living room to stand before her. “I had hoped you would, sweetheart. I’m pleased to see that your dear Kat saw fit to give you my letter. I assume her generosity was accompanied by numerous colorful threats for me?”

            “Not as many as you’d expect. Actually, Kat was a bit preoccupied with teaching Mason Lockwood some fairly unorthodox uses for hummingbird cake,” Caroline giggled, lightly placing her hands on his chest, her fingertips sinking into his soft charcoal henley.

            Smirking down at her, he asked in a hopeful tone, “I’m always open to a culinary lesson — especially if it involves dessert. Perhaps you’d be willing to teach me?”

            “That’s some pretty complex cooking. Maybe I should start slow with you,” she teased, unable to mask the catch in her voice as he wound his arms around her, surrounding her with his reassuring warmth.

            “I’m a quick study, sweetheart,” Klaus told her in a husky tone, pulling her into a kiss that began gently, but rapidly deepened as their bodies fell in synch.

            Caroline lightly pulled away, a wry smile on her face as she said, “Thanks for helping me cross off the last goal on my list.”

            He chuckled, wiping at a stray bit of honey barbecue sauce from the side of her mouth, sucking his finger. “And thank you for helping me finish my list. It was more delicious than I could have imagined,” he told her with a devilish smirk.

            Feeling her face flame in embarrassment, she groaned, “I can’t believe I kissed Klaus Mikaelson while smothered in barbecue sauce! I have failed teenage me on a scale so epic, I may never recover.”

            He chuckled, “Nonsense. I prefer all of my kisses to be barbecue-flavored.” Flashing his dimples, he added, “Call it a quirk, love.”

            Before Caroline could respond, he pulled her in for another kiss, one that took her breath away as she felt herself start to sink into his strong body. Every nerve within her sizzled as he ran his hands slowly down her form, and she could feel his slight hesitation as he wordlessly tried to determine her boundaries. Touched by his concern for her level of comfort, she boldly looked him in the eye as she slipped her sundress over her head, allowing the airy fabric to float to the floor behind her.

            Klaus swallowed, his stunned gaze greedily soaking in the vision before him. “We don’t have to, sweetheart. We could just have dinner to start, and...”

            “Later,” she cut him off firmly, his sweet words inspiring her to finally admit what she wanted. She took charge for the moment, insistently tugging at his henley until he helped her pull it over his tousled dirty blonde curls. She lightly caressed his muscles, watching in fascination as they twitched under his skin. She placed tender kisses along his chest, emitting a small hum of delight as she breathed in the sensual bite of his cologne.

            He grasped her face with both hands, drawing her into a searing kiss before tracing a thumb down her cheek, his touch growing more insistent as he followed the beautiful lines of her body down to her back. He teased the edge of her powder blue bra strap, deftly flicking open the clasp and slowly pulling it away. He drank her in, and rather than feeling exposed, she felt empowered, cherished even. He tenderly touched her stiffening nipple, feeling the weight of her ivory breast in his palm. Her breath caught in her throat, urging him to continue his eager explorations.

            She rubbed her body against his, the roughness of his denim pleasantly scraping against her thighs. She traced the scintillating V-shape of his abdominals, the tender skin quivering as she dipped lower, unzipping his pants as she pushed them down his legs. She could feel herself blushing as she realized he was wearing nothing underneath.

            Noticing her reaction, his lips curved into a knowing grin and he slowly sank to his knees before her. Placing his hands on her hips, he gazed up at her, his gray eyes darkening as his tongue swiped at his lower lip. “I want to taste you, love,” he told her with a sexy growl. At her helpless nod, he tugged at the sides of her panties, eagerly tossing them away.

            The first touch of his tongue against her folds nearly made her knees buckle. She anchored her fingers into his dirty blonde curls, following his sensual movements as he devoured her. She rocked against his luscious lips, moaning as he subjected her to the sweetest torture with his talented tongue. A beautiful, golden spark seemed to shoot through her as she came apart, trembling and panting as he lowered her beside him on top of the fleece area rug dyed bold reds and grays.  

            They pressed against each other, staring at the other as though wanting to permanently commit every detail to memory, and Caroline blushed as she felt his erection nudge insistently against her thigh. Biting her lip, she took Klaus in her hand, grinning at the small whine that escaped him. She gently slid her fingers across his thick length, barely containing a wanton moan as she imagined how he would feel inside of her. He was so responsive to her touch, drops of pre-come coating her hand as she increased her movements, wanting him desperate for her touch. “I want you,” she confided in a whisper, relishing the way her simple words could make his gray eyes darken with desire.

            “Then have me,” he told her, suddenly rolling on top of her and pressing his knee between her legs, spreading them wide. He took a nipple in his mouth, teasing the tip until it was a hardened point, while smoothing one hand down to her core, toying with the soaked entrance.

            She tilted her hips, encouraging his touch, and was handsomely rewarded when he began a marvelous rhythm with his fingers inside of her. She loved the way his blunt teeth nibbled delicately at her breast, but it was the way he encouraged her to buck against his hand that had her begging him for more.

            Sensing she was nearing another peak, he quickly replaced his fingers with his straining cock, smoothly gliding inside as she groaned at the delicious feeling. They rocked together in harmony, their bodies glistening with sweat as they stole fiery kisses from lips, necks and shoulders, seemingly needing to touch every inch of exposed flesh between them. His powerful thrusts made her cry out in ecstasy, wishing she could linger in this moment forever. Just as she felt another orgasm overtake her, he tensed, groaning out her name as he tenderly kissed her, riding out his own wave of desire with shallow, languid thrusts.

            Once they caught their breath, Caroline heard her stomach rumble. She giggled, feeling around on the soft rug for Klaus’ charcoal henley. She tugged it over her messy blonde curls and said with a wink, “Let’s have some supper now that we’ve worked up an appetite.”   

            He put his jeans back on, nuzzling her neck as he told her seductively, “I suspect after tasting you, I’ve all but spoiled my appetite, love.”

            She scoffed, lightly smacking his bare chest as she felt her cheeks heat once more. They loaded their plates with honey-jalapeno pulled pork, white cheddar macaroni and cheese, fried green tomatoes, sweet potato biscuits and steamed carrots with caramelized pecans, heating them in the microwave before sitting at the table to start enjoying the feast.

            At the first bite of the fluffy, butter-rich biscuits, Klaus licked his lips asking, “You made these from scratch? They’re amazing!” He took another bite, chewing thoughtfully as he confessed, “While I enjoy cooking, I’m a bit hopeless when it comes to baking bread — I can never get it to rise properly.”

            “Well, anytime you want a lesson, just holler. I’m happy to help,” she said, savoring the sticky-sweet pecan glaze on the steamed carrots.

            Gray eyes twinkling in amusement, he replied, “I’m sure you’re an excellent teacher, sweetheart. You seem to have a knack for getting things to _rise_.”

            Caroline rolled her eyes at his innuendo, but instead tackled the mountain of spicy pork on her plate, licking the corner of her mouth at a stray bit of honey barbecue sauce.

            She caught Klaus watching her with a curious expression, and he seemed on the verge of preparing to say something important, but instead he asked, “You and Rebekah seemed to have hit it off. Tell me, love, how horrified should I be about whatever secret embarrassments of mine she divulged?”

            With a small shrug, she answered with a grin, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Alfie.”

            Gray eyes widening, he quickly swallowed and said, “Bloody hell, she _still_ tells that story? It was mud, I swear!”

            “Sure it was,” she said with a mocking lilt, helping herself to more fried green tomatoes. Grumbling good naturedly, he resumed eating, sending her playful looks as they finished their meal in companionable silence.

            Later that evening, he helped Caroline gather the dishes, stacking everything on his concrete counters in the kitchen. “So,” he began, somewhat nervously, “I must confess I’m a bit out of my depth here, but may I ask about your plans?” At her curious expression, he hurriedly added, “I mean here or Virginia or wherever you see yourself in the future.”

            She felt her heart give a funny little tug at his words. He was asking about her plans. _For them_. _This was really happening_. Trying to keep her voice steady, she teased, “Funny you ask me that, because when I was at the airport, I _did_ receive an interesting offer to play a middle-aged mother, but it’s possible that Austin and Chad have decided I’m too _grandma-lookin’_ for the role now.”

            At his perplexed expression, she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her. Once she calmed down, her tone became more serious as she thought back to everything she had been feeling and what she had decided on the long flight there. “I’ve always been a planner, and you weren’t something that I could’ve ever expected. I don’t know how this will work with us, but I’m excited to find out. I know we’re on opposite coasts, but we’ll keep going about our business and we’ll talk all we can and get to know each other better and figure it out along the way.”

            The smile on Klaus’ handsome face was both blindingly joyful as well as relieved, and when he leaned over the kitchen island to kiss her, she eagerly responded, even playfully nibbling on his bottom lip until he responded in kind. When they pulled away, briefly resting their foreheads together, Klaus said in a gravelly voice, “I humbly accept your terms, sweetheart. We have all the time in the world to explore our connection.” His dimples deepened as he smirked, “Speaking of which, do you have any suggestions on where we can start?”

            Blushing prettily, Caroline lifted the dome off of the porcelain cake stand behind her to reveal a beautiful hummingbird cake, composed of delicious layers of caramelized bananas, pineapple and roasted pecans. Running her nail along a bit of smudged frosting on the lid, she sucked on the tip, savoring the delicious flavors of cream cheese and butter while Klaus’ gray eyes darkened with lust.

            “It’s Kat’s secret recipe,” she explained, carefully setting the heavenly-smelling cake between them. With an impish grin, she added, “I thought it was time we take Kat’s advice about dessert. Don’t you agree?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned earlier, I’ve published an original novel through Amazon Digital Services LLC. You can find a link to it on my tumblr: supremeuppityone
> 
> It’s called Chicken and Vice. If you enjoyed Skewered, you’ll like this novel! Feel free to contact me for more info! 
> 
>  
> 
> Here’s a brief synopsis:
> 
> Chicken and dumplings have never been so sexy!
> 
> Just ask Lily Cantrell, owner of the Saucy Wench Restaurant. A chance meeting at a nightclub with a mysterious, sexy British stranger named Jack turns her world into a pineapple upside-down cake from which she may never recover! Especially when she learns that Jack is a deviled egg-ecutive of Augustine Enterprises, the dastardly conglomerate that has harassed her to no end trying to buy the recipe for her famous chicken and dumplings.
> 
> Sparks fly as Jack relentlessly pursues Lily, but is he after her heart or her chef secrets? Fortunately, this fussy foodie can count on her zany grandmothers and friends to help her get to the root-abaga of Jack’s intentions (in between rounds of mahjong and Kitchen Peeper Bingo, that is!). 
> 
> Chicken and Vice takes the reader on an enjoyable journey where our characters learn that letting someone in has never been so terrifying — or rewarding.


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